The Domestics 1c: The Roommate Files
by scribblemyname
Summary: Sleep is a rare commodity for the Iceman.
1. Clickety Clack

THE DOMESTICS STORY ARC

STORY SUMMARY: Domestic life with the X-Men.

DISCLAIMERS: All characters and organizations (with the exception of small, mostly unnamed minor characters) are the product of Marvel.

CANONICAL NOTES: This story arc accepts movieverse canon for _First Class_, X1, X2, and X3. XO (_Origins_) is ignored. Powers for major characters follow movieverse, with the exception of Remy LeBeau/Gambit who is based on comicverse.

LANGUAGE AND ACCENTS: Cajun French is courtesy of Heavenmetal (many thanks). I will attempt to reproduce accents in this story arc.

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><p><strong>The Roommate Files<strong>

**- 1.3 -**

**Story Summary:** Sleep is a rare commodity for the Iceman.

**Canonical Notes:** Set sometime shortly following X1.

**Author's Note: **Chapter one prompted by word #412 by **writers_choice** LJ comm.

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><p><strong>Clickety-Clack<strong>

**- 1 -**

Bobby blamed that infernal device: it kept him up all hours of the night, tempted and instigated general mayhem, and drove every law-abiding, well-behaved kid at Mutant High positively batty.

_It _was, of course, St. John Allerdyce's lighter.

"John!"

Bobby got a glare at that, one he shouldn't be able to see at midnight, but sorry, we've got an almost bonfire in here, and seeing the expression on his roommate's face was all too easy.

"It's Pyro," St. John Allerdyce snapped while simultaneously clicking his Zippo lighter shut for the umpteenth and a thousandth time.

Bobby tried the calm negotiation techniques he'd asked Mr. Summers for earlier. "If I call you Pyro, will you please stop clicking the lighter."

The lighter flicked open. John's hand hesitated. He looked...thoughtful.

Bobby felt his hopes rise.

A long pause, then, "Go ahead and call me John if you want." John nodded conclusively. "Just _don't _expect me to respond." The lighter snapped shut.

Bobby fell back onto his pillow with a groan.


	2. Square Root

**Indigo-Night-Wisp** (I admit to loving St. John's brattiness too sometimes. :grins:)**  
><strong>

Thank you to all my readers, whether or not you review. I hope you enjoy!

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><p><strong>Square Root<strong>

**- 2 -**

"The square root of seventy-three," Kitty repeated sharply with a glare.

This was a new development. Bobby glanced up wearily from his pillow at the glowing red numbers of his alarm clock. Ten minutes to midnight, and there was a _girl_ in their dorm room. Never mind the curfew, the rules, or the primal need for _sleep_—Katherine Pryde had moved in on St. John's bed with her stacks of textbooks and her fierce glares for John with the stated goal of teaching the most mathematically challenged student at Xavier's how to _manually_ extract a square root.

Naturally, John was doing rather poorly, which was not at all helped by the fact that the two were lying practically entangled on his bed and John's interest was clearly more on nuzzling Kitty's neck or playing with her hair than doing homework.

"Stop that," Kitty snapped.

St. John shrugged. "I have no idea."

Kitty growled.

He kissed her cheek, and she glared at him again.

"Can I file a complaint for sexual harrassment or something?" Bobby demanded.

Kitty's head came up with an entirely perplexed expression on her face. "Huh?"

"I am being exposed to sexual attention I do _not_ want to see," Bobby insisted.

Kitty and John exchanged looks.

Kitty answered slowly. "I'm pretty sure I'm the one being 'sexually harrassed,' and um...I'm pretty sure..."—she was blushing and suddenly Bobby realized this was not going to be good—"the attentions have to be _unwanted_ to be harrassment."

His jaw dropped. All that bluster—the glares, the biting comments, the smacks upside St. John Allerdyce's smug head—were _fake_? "I just want to go to sleep!"

Kitty looked at John. "Is he always like this?"

John chuckled. "Much, _much_ worse."

Bobby's mouth dropped open again.

"Right," Kitty replied, all business. "Now the square root of seventy-three. Let's start with the square root of seven..."


	3. Jubilation Theme Song

**Author's Note: **Chapter three prompted by **elfgirljen** at the **comment-fic **LJ comm.

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><p><strong>Jubilation Theme Song<strong>

**- 3 -**

Over last ten weeks of being St. John Allerdyce's unwilling roommate, Bobby had come to one absolutely irrefutable conclusion: John was trying to drive him insane.

Whoever named him 'saint' had clearly lost their mind already. Bobby endured sleepless nights, slow torture by clicking lighter, fire damage, Kitty and John's heated arguments about music, schoolwork, and worse—who knew the guy was into romance novels? But _this_ took the cake.

Bobby had barely collapsed across his bed after the most grueling PE class he had ever experienced (he thought Scott was bad? Logan was infinitely worse) when John, _who had been in the same class_, burst into the room with… Jubilee? Both of them were singing enthusiastically at the top of their lungs—the song that never ends.

Bobby groaned, then took hope. It was Jubilee. She would be reasonable. _"Please_ stop singing. You're driving me crazy." He gave her his best pleading expression

Jubilee looked at him then looked at John, who shrugged and flicked open his lighter. She grinned and snapped her fingers, starting off a sparkler and a new song:

_"'Cause being without you is driving me crazy!_  
><em>Oh I just don't know what to do!"<em>

Bobby groaned.

#


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